Dear Mother,
You are not my mother, but you are the other mother of my daughter. You gave birth to her nine years ago today. You made a decision, and you let your daughter live. You did the only thing a family like yours was able to do in China in 2003. You, or someone close to you, brought your tiny baby girl to a sidewalk, probably in the wee hours of the morning. The person who placed her gently, wrapped in many blankets, likely hid somewhere to make sure this tiny baby was found. Indeed, she was. She was taken in to a hospital only a few blocks away, and examined. The way she sucked down a bottle offered to her, they realized she is one tough little girl, and off she went, on the path that would eventually bring her to me.
I can't even imagine the pain you must have endured, knowing you had to give up this child you had carried inside your body, being one with her, nourishing her for months. I know you will always remember her. On her birthday, I wonder if it makes you sad to think about what it would have been like had you been able to keep your baby. So, though I know you will never read this, I am writing it because I would like to be able to express my gratitude.
Daisy (that is her English name) came into our lives in August of 2005. She was a feisty little girl, 18 months old, still eating with great gusto. She proved that she could love and be loved very early in her relationship with her new family. When she met her three older brothers, she took over running the household. People always say, Daisy's future suitors are going to have a tough time getting past her brothers. Actually, Daisy's brothers are going to have a tougher time getting Daisy to approve of their future girlfriends.
Daisy is a hardworking, artistic, sweet, helpful, assertive, friendly young lady. She loves school, and works very hard to do well. She is eager to please. She draws and paints, and loves crafts. She is almost always happy, but she is not a push over. She will stick up for herself, and is not afraid to tell other people what to do. She is a good friend to others, and she has good friends too. She loves to dance. I wonder, what of these traits do you share with her?
She is tall and beautiful, and healthy and happy. She likes to be a girly-girl and a tomboy. She is in fact, a wonderful child in every way I can imagine, and I just wanted to share a little bit of who she is becoming with you, dear lady, who's impossible selfless decision made Daisy part of my family. Thank you.
With love and gratitude,
Daisy's other mother
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
...and Hello, with Intention, to 2012
This morning I went and did my traditional annual New Year's Day labyrinth walk, with a group of my friends. Though I had just been a few hours earlier, to close 2011, this was the start of the new. I was so glad I went last night because it really gave me some much needed closure to a challenging year. I was ready to start fresh.
My day started early, before the walk, with reading some, and I saw this Facebook post by Dr. Wayne Dyer:
"Forget about those New Year’s resolutions in which you decide on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life for the next twelve months. Instead, set up day-to-day goals for yourself, and then resolve to begin living with present moment awareness for the rest of your life. When you get good at living your present moments one day at a time, you’ll see yourself changing right before your own surprised eyes. Remember, anyone can do anything for just one day, so tune out the sentences that keep you locked into your old self-defeating ways and begin to enjoy each day of your bright new year."
I realized that although setting goals is very important, reevaluating is important also. Time moves quickly and things change. This turned out to be a theme for the morning. My friend Sarah read a piece before we walked, and I was struck by these words, "Change is the only constant." That seemed very accurate of late. We were talking about how things happen so quickly now. With technology, and the ability to travel, general busy-ness, we are not the same society we were a few years ago. Being adaptable to change is, and will be the key to less stress in my life. With all that took place in 2011, and the many times I felt so overwhelmed, it is obvious that adaptability is important. I also know that adapting to change will take work, but it is work I am eager to do.
I entered the labyrinth with that intention...to meditate on change and adaptability. There was a group of about 10 of us walking, but somehow, we were all on our own path. I observed that people can be with me, but I am still responsible for the path I choose. People pass through my life in different ways, some connect, some don't. All have some impact.
So, then suddenly, momentarily, my friend Mary was on the path next to mine, and she reached over and gave me a hug. She was dropping an occasional rose petal as she walked. I whispered, "I love the roses." The petals were blowing, drifting, crossing my path frequently. The next time Mary was near me, she reached out and handed me a petal. It was shaped like a heart. I noticed all the other petals strewn about were heart shaped also. I experienced a shift in my thinking. Change is the only constant....but the other constant is love. I was flooded with a sense of peace. Love is constant. It made me think of the end of one of my favorite books, The Bridge of San Luis Rey, by Thornton Wilder. This quote from the book was ringing in my mind. "But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love."
When I finished walking, I sat down on a bench in the bright sunshine to write a few thoughts. It turned into Haiku poetry. I write Haiku a lot, so this is what came to me.
Hearts are in flowers
Flowers all along my path
Remind me to love.
My path, full of change
Reevaluate, adapt
Carry on with love.
As I was sitting and writing, for the first time in months I saw a falcon flying overhead. I've seen falcons on occasion, and it is always an amazing experience. I love them. They represent strength, power, and freedom to me. The bird, the only thing visible in the crystal clear blue sky, flew a lap around the open area of the labyrinth, low enough for me to see feathers and pattern on its underside, then flew up and over the trees and away. The falcon reinforced what I was already thinking about...the strength, power, and freedom of love.
Cheers...to an amazing 2012.
My day started early, before the walk, with reading some, and I saw this Facebook post by Dr. Wayne Dyer:
"Forget about those New Year’s resolutions in which you decide on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life for the next twelve months. Instead, set up day-to-day goals for yourself, and then resolve to begin living with present moment awareness for the rest of your life. When you get good at living your present moments one day at a time, you’ll see yourself changing right before your own surprised eyes. Remember, anyone can do anything for just one day, so tune out the sentences that keep you locked into your old self-defeating ways and begin to enjoy each day of your bright new year."
I realized that although setting goals is very important, reevaluating is important also. Time moves quickly and things change. This turned out to be a theme for the morning. My friend Sarah read a piece before we walked, and I was struck by these words, "Change is the only constant." That seemed very accurate of late. We were talking about how things happen so quickly now. With technology, and the ability to travel, general busy-ness, we are not the same society we were a few years ago. Being adaptable to change is, and will be the key to less stress in my life. With all that took place in 2011, and the many times I felt so overwhelmed, it is obvious that adaptability is important. I also know that adapting to change will take work, but it is work I am eager to do.
I entered the labyrinth with that intention...to meditate on change and adaptability. There was a group of about 10 of us walking, but somehow, we were all on our own path. I observed that people can be with me, but I am still responsible for the path I choose. People pass through my life in different ways, some connect, some don't. All have some impact.
So, then suddenly, momentarily, my friend Mary was on the path next to mine, and she reached over and gave me a hug. She was dropping an occasional rose petal as she walked. I whispered, "I love the roses." The petals were blowing, drifting, crossing my path frequently. The next time Mary was near me, she reached out and handed me a petal. It was shaped like a heart. I noticed all the other petals strewn about were heart shaped also. I experienced a shift in my thinking. Change is the only constant....but the other constant is love. I was flooded with a sense of peace. Love is constant. It made me think of the end of one of my favorite books, The Bridge of San Luis Rey, by Thornton Wilder. This quote from the book was ringing in my mind. "But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love."
When I finished walking, I sat down on a bench in the bright sunshine to write a few thoughts. It turned into Haiku poetry. I write Haiku a lot, so this is what came to me.
Hearts are in flowers
Flowers all along my path
Remind me to love.
My path, full of change
Reevaluate, adapt
Carry on with love.
As I was sitting and writing, for the first time in months I saw a falcon flying overhead. I've seen falcons on occasion, and it is always an amazing experience. I love them. They represent strength, power, and freedom to me. The bird, the only thing visible in the crystal clear blue sky, flew a lap around the open area of the labyrinth, low enough for me to see feathers and pattern on its underside, then flew up and over the trees and away. The falcon reinforced what I was already thinking about...the strength, power, and freedom of love.
Cheers...to an amazing 2012.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
